masks : 1, 2... 3?...4?... (or even more) ... but a theatrical contortionist + acrobatic (break?)dancer at heart

you are all the [one that] i need, and baby you know it
you can make this beggar a [queen], a klown or a poet
i'll give you all that i own
you've got me standing in line
out in the cold, pay me some mind !

bend me, shape me - any way you want me
as long as you love me, it's alright
bend me, shape me - any way you want me
you've got the power to turn on the light

everybody tells me i'm wrong to want you so badly
but there's a force driving me on, i follow it gladly
so let them laugh - i don't care
cause i got nothing to hide
all that i want is you by my side !

bend me, shape me - any way you want me
as long as you love me, it's alright
bend me, shape me - any way you want me
you've got the power to turn on the light

----------------------------------------------------
'the beautiful thing about ashes'
----------------------------------------------------

it is my favorite, most uber-inspirational
fire dancing video...
which comes with a (subtitled) story
about coming out from depression
and realizing that...
you.are.beautiful
..........................................................
video (and performance and story) by nick woolsey
[the foremost innovator in modern fire dance with poi
...aside from my genius(ly successful) local spinfam, actually *ahem*]
which was released the same month i began spinning
after fully abandoning my hopes for hardcore 'traditional' (temple-esque) seva
in search of something else...
(in search of anything other than another broken heart full of disappointment in myself).

...................................................
whistling in the dark
a woman came up to me and said
i'd like to poison your mind
with wrong ideas that appeal to you
though i am not unkind
she looked at me, i looked at something written across her scalp
and these are the words that it faintly said
as i tried to call for help

there's only one thing that i know how to do well
and i've often been told that you only can do
what you know how to do well
and that's be you
be what you're like
be like yourself
and so i'm having a wonderful time
but i'd rather be whistling in the dark...

a man came up to me and said
i'd like to change your mind
by hitting it with a rock, he said
though i am not unkind
we laughed at his little joke and then i happily walked away
and hit my head on the wall of the jail
where the two of us live today

['whistling in the dark' -
confident that something good will happen when it is not at all likely]

..........................................................
halo
i can make love feel just like heaven
[yet] i can be a little devil [on bad days]
even clean and cook your break_fast
but i'm not perfect
i can take off when need the time
i can cheer lead for you from the sideline
whisper in your ear so divine
but i'm not perfect

i hope you can forgive me, baby
for all of the mistakes i've made
be patient with me, baby
i'm just trying to make my way
i'm not a superhero
sorry i couldn't save the day
but believe me when i say
that i'm sorry i couldn't wear your halo
i'm sorry i couldn't be your angel
i'm sorry i couldn't wear your halo
i'm sorry i didn't stroke your ego
oh, no
[thought] i was with [it] but i guess i wasn't able
i'm sorry i couldn't wear your halo

i know how to put your mind at ease and
i can dress you for all four seasons
surprise you for no reason
but i'm not perfect, no
fall on my knees and pray for our love
promise not to let anything come between us
could you let us fall apart all because
i'm not perfect...

oh, it's like you never knew my heart
i swear sometimes you are
so hard on me cause i'm not everything
that you want me to be
i'm so sorry
i didn't want you to see me this way
i'm so sorry
i didn't mean to fall from grace

...................................................
and so this nilambari dasi ever begs for love and forgiveness
from all the vaisnavas, whom she so much admires
and yet would someday learn to truly adore.