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THE GLORIES OF SRIMAD BHAGAVATAM continued .....
Every sloka of Srimad-Bhagavatam is full of thousands of meanings. If we will hear any verse of Bhagavatam with explanation and deeply meditate on it, chanting harinama and absorbing ourselves in that, perfection can come. One word of Bhagavatam, one letter of Srimad-Bhagavatam can give all perfection. So we should not be lazy. With great honor, we should try to enter into Srimad-Bhagavatam.
Yesterday we described how Krsna had left Vrndavana and gone to Mathura, how He had sent Uddhava on a chariot to deliver a message to the Brijbasis, how Uddhava underwent a very radical transformation in Vrndavana. Going to Vrndavana was a very good learning experience for him; he had never seen a place like this before. He thought he knew what bhakti was, but he understood that he had entered another realm entirely. It was only a few kilometers down the road from Mathura, but actually it was a million, million yojanas away from Mathura. What is the difference between Mathura and Vrndavana? It is the difference between two fingers. Two fingers are separated by only one line in the middle-they are side by side. This is the geography. Mathura and Vrndavana are that close, but we do not measure these places by centimeters. We measure them by prema-bhakti. If we will try to understand the geography of Mathura and Vrndavana on the basis of prema-bhakti, then it will be said that Vrndavana is millions and millions and millions of miles away from Mathura. Now Uddhava was realizing this fact when he saw Nanda Baba, Yasoda Maiya, and then the next morning, after taking bath, he saw the gopis of Vrndavana. What condition were they in? Their cloth was old; they had not changed for a long time. And they were covered in dust. Why? Why did they not change their cloth?
Three months earlier, when Krsna was going away from Vrndavana on Akrura’s chariot, the dust of the chariot went into the air as the chariot was pulling away. The gopis were stunned; they could not move. Only tears were gliding down from their eyes and their cloth was wet with their tears. And the dust which came from the wheels of Akrura’s chariot floating in the air came down. Because their bodies and cloth were wet, it stuck to their bodies. And they made a vow, “I will never change this cloth-never-unless Krsna returns.” Why? “This dust is from Krsna’s chariot and the tears of separation from Him mixed together. So I am never letting go of this cloth.” The gopis were in a very pitiable condition as Radharani in Her mahabhava was speaking with the bumblebee. We described this yesterday, and Uddhava’s doubt, “How could Krsna leave these devotees who have so much love? How could He leave them?” And Krsna showed him, “My aprakata-lila is always going on.” Krsna showed Uddhava for a second His aprakata-lila, and again Uddhava saw the prakata-lila. Then Uddhava was thinking, “Oh, the gopis are only being kind. There is really no separation at all. They are just showing me something to bestow mercy upon me.”
Thus, Uddhava began to pray, and among his six prominent prayers, this one is very famous: asam aho carana-renu-jusam aham syam. Asam means these gopis. I want to serve their footdust. How will it be possible? They honor me, seeing me as a brahmana, so what can I do? Vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam: I should take birth in Vrndavana as a bush, as a creeper, as a herb, a blade of grass. Then, if they will step on me, I am touched by their footdust. Then I may realize the meaning of prema. Ya dustyajam sva-janam arya-patham ca hitva: they gave up ‘dustyaja’, that which is very very difficult to give up-their husbands, their family members, their homes, their dharma, arya-patha (the path of Arya dharma), all chance of happiness in this life and the next. They gave up everything-for what? Bhejur mukunda-padavim: to serve the lotus feet of Mukunda. Srutibhir vimrgyam: directly they serve His lotus feet. No-His lotus feet serve them. They are so great. Those lotus feet-srutibhir vimrgyam-are searched after by all the Vedas, but they cannot find the lotus feet of Mukunda; it is very difficult for them. They do austerities for that. But the gopis directly take His lotus feet on their hearts. To relieve their separation from Him? No-to relieve His separation from them. So gopis are so great. This is the general meaning of the verse.
Our acaryas have explained this verse in so many ways-from the point of view of Uddhava, and also from their own point of view. Why? Sarva-bhutesu yah pasyed bhagavad-bhavam atmanah (SB 11.2.45). The Maha-bhagavat sees his own mood everywhere. So Sanatana Gosvamipada, reading this verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam, though it was spoken by Uddhava, saw so many moods of the gopis here. He will see according to his own mood and comment in that way. I know that sometimes the devotees take their mala and sit down to chant, but their mind is vacant-they get no inspiration. Where to begin, what to think of, what to do, how to chant, how to pray to Krsna? In a verse of Bhagavatam like this, everything about bhajana has been explained-everything in one verse. There is no time now to explain deeply; I can only tell one or two things.
The first thing is this. What teaching to we reap from this verse?
’sadhu-sanga’, ’sadhu-sanga’ - sarva-sastre kaya
lava-matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya (Cc. Madhya 22.54)
This teaching is in this verse. How? Uddhava was living very closely with Krsna in Mathura for three months. But what did he get by associating with Him? He got the idea that “I am a good devotee of Krsna.” But when he came to Vrndavana and had the sanga of the gopis, then he was totally transformed. In Mathura he could not imagine that the day would come when he would pray to become a blade of grass in Vrndavana-unspeakable. He had it made-I’m a Mathuravasi, I am an associate of Krsna, I have everything.. But now his heart was totally changed, and he was thinking, “I want to be a blade of grass in Vrndavana.” What was it that changed his mind? What made this radical transformation in Uddhava’s heart? The sanga of the gopis. In other words, where we are today and where we will have to go are miles apart. The way that we feel today and the way that we will have to feel to be a resident of Vrndavana are completely different. How will we change? What will bring about that transformation? Only sadhu sanga. Even Krsna cannot do it. Even if you live with Krsna directly for three months-like Uddhava-you will not change. When will you change? When you have the association of the gopis of Vrndavana. This will bring about transformation. So mercifully, kindly, Srimati Radharani sends Her sakhis into this world to give the association to jivas. By the touch of their sanga, the jivas become transformed, and become mad to attain Braja-prema.
Lava-matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya: one moment’s association can give all perfection. So Uddhava is praying, “If the gopis will just step on me as they are running to meet with Krsna in the forest, perhaps that moment will be enough so that I can realize their bhava, the way that they feel.” Here the teaching is that only by your sadhana, by your own practice, it is impossible. If there is any austerity, any vow, if there is any sadhana that one can do, Uddhava was qualified to do it. He would have done it, but he realized, “There is nothing I can do without the mercy of the Braja gopis to attain this type of love.” Actually, Uddhava does not want to have kamatmika bhakti. Gopis have a mood to be the lovers of Krsna, but Uddhava is in male form, and he does not want to become like them. But seeing the intensity of their prema, he is praying that by their mercy he will have an intensity of prema like theirs. But any Gaudiya, chanting and remembering this verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam, will not follow that aspect of Uddhava’s prayer. They will accept this, “If I could have the touch of the foot-dust of Braja gopis, then perhaps one day I could have a mood like them.” Actually, you cannot imitate, you cannot imagine and speculate what kind of prema they have, but you can pray to them. By their mercy, some impression will come in the heart. Now, those who are actually doing bhajana are very very rare. We are only in the stage of praying verses like this and chanting. If we will pray very sincerely, they will hear and make some good arrangement in our life for us to come in the direction of their lotus feet.
So here:
asam aho carana-renu-jusam aham syam
vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam
Uddhava is saying, “I want to take birth as the grass in Vrndavana.” Actually, gulma-lata-ausadhi. Gulma means bush, lata is a creeper, and ausadhi means herb, medicinal herbs, very small shrubs growing on the ground. Why? He is thinking, “Vrndavana is such an extraordinary place. Everyone is serving. Radha and Krsna, but I cannot serve. I have no chance, but in Vrndavana, even the bushes are serving.” How? In Vrndavana the bushes have so many fragrant flowers-they are called ‘bhava kusum’, flowers of emotion, and prema-phal, fruits of love. Radhika’s sakhis are going and picking those flowers, as if the bushes are offering their hearts to Radha and Krsna. The sakhis are picking those flowers to make garlands and placing them around the necks of Radha and Krsna. Thus, They are decorated in such a way that Their love for each other is stimulated more and more. So how the bushes of Vrndavana are serving, but what can Uddhava do? If Krsna and Radhika will see Uddhava, they will say, “Oh, no! Uddhava is coming.” What can he do? Nothing. But the bushes-how they are serving! In addition, the bushes all stand together very tightly in rows, creating a room. That is called a kunja, and from outside no one can see in. Otherwise, how can confidential pastimes between Radha and Krsna take place? But the bushes can witness these pastimes, so how fortunate they are!
But you know, bushes are a little high, and cannot so easily get foot-dust. Therefore, Uddhava was thinking, “Gulma, bushes, are OK, but latas are better.” Why? The creepers are feminine, and all the creepers are sakhis of Radhika. Radharani Herself plants the creepers and waters them. In Vrndavana Mahimamrta, Srila Prabodhananda Sarasvati Thakura said that one day Radharani was tending one of Her creepers and said, “Hey Barangi, O you whose limbs are very beautiful! O My dear sakhi Barangi, can you dance?” Just then, the breeze blew and all the leaves of the creeper began to dance. Radharani began to laugh. “Hey Barangi, can you sing?” Inside the manjaris on the creeper, the bumblebees began, “Hmmmmmm.” And Radharani is laughing. “Hey Barangi, can you laugh?” Then the flowers on the creeper blossomed, like laughter. “Hey Barangi, can you cry?” And then makharanda was dripping from those flowers like tears. “Hey Barangi, can you embrace this tree?” And the creeper wound itself around the tree, embracing it. So in Vrndavana, the golden creepers, like gopis, embrace the tamala trees, which are blackish like Krsna. In this way, they inspire the love of Radharani for Krsna when She sees them. The lata is the symbol of very deep and passionate attachment. Why? Because the creeper is embracing Her beloved tightly and she never lets go. So when Radhika sees the creepers of Vrndavana, She becomes so inspired.
Vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam: “if I could be gulma, then I could serve. If I were a lata, I could serve more. But I think to be the sakhi of Radhika is not the best thing.” Latas are like Radhika’s sakhis.
sakhyaya te mama namo’stu namo’stu nityam
dasyaya te mama raso’stu raso’stu satyam
Better not to be a sakhi of Radhika, better to be Her dasi. Radhika will not place Her feet on the bushes and on the creepers. Her feet are on the ground. It may be that at the time of dancing in rasa, the foot-dust will go up into the air and may land on the trees and creepers, but for them to directly receive the touch of Radharani’s feet will be very rare. But creepers are on the ground-directly Radhika will keep Her feet there. So better to be like ausadhi, medicinal herbs-so small and on the ground, and then surely we will get the touch of Radhika’s feet. That means dasi’s mood. Raghunatha dasa Gosvami prayed:
sakhyaya te mama namo’stu namo’stu nityam
dasyaya te mama raso’stu raso’stu satyam
What kind of prayer is this? “I don’t want to be your sakhi. I bow down to them. I only want to be your dasi.”
yo brahma rudra suka narada bhisma mukhyair
alaksito na sahasa purusasya tasya
Uddhava, Brahma, Rudra, Suka, Narada, all the mahajanas and everyone-when they hear about the position of the gopis of Vrndavana like Lalita and Visakha, they are amazed. It is very hard for them even to imagine the good fortune of being like Lalita and Visakha, the sakhis of Radhika. Rupa Manjari, Rati Manjari and others are qualified to be Radhika’s sakhis, they are qualified to be yuthesvari even, group leaders. Yet having the chance to be in that position which would be coveted by every great personality in the universe, they say, “No, thank you.” What does that mean? It means there must be something else which is so special, so wonderful, that they refuse that position of being like Lalita and Visakha. That is to be the dasi of Srimati Radhika-it is so special.
So, the devotee is chanting and remembering: vrndavane kim api gulma-lata. Gulma-OK; no. Lata-OK; no no! Ausadhinam-this is better. To have a service mood. Ya dustyajam sva-janam arya-patham ca hitva: here he has stated that gopis have given up that which is very hard to give up-their family members and their dharma. By this, a very deep secret of bhajana has been revealed. You know that the Four Kumaras never entered into family life, even though their father Brahmaji ordered them to get married. They said, “No. Get married? We’re not even going to grow up. We’re not even going to get dressed.” So we see that the Four Kumaras never became involved in mundane dharma and family life. Sukadeva Gosvami was the same-and he is superior to them. And there are so many others-Narada and so many kings left their kingdoms and dedicated themselves to the path of spiritual advancement. So what is so special that the gopis left their homes and husbands? So many people have done it, so what is so great that they did it? Here the secret is that the gopis don’t know that they are the highest and topmost. The sages have left everything for God, but the gopis have not left everything for God. They have left everything for the son of Nanda Maharaja-this is the meaning. Many many rsis left their homes and families, so why is this the speciality of the gopis that they left their homes and families? Because others left for God, and that is written in scripture. But the gopis left everything for their childhood sweetheart only. Now in the west there is so much adultery and bad behavior, but the gopis are not like that. They are chaste ladies. For a chaste lady to leave her dharma or husband is unheard of-better to die first. In India, if the husband will die prematurely, the wife will enter into his funeral pyre. Why? Because in separation from the husband, she loses her dharma in life; dharma of the wife is to serve her husband. This is more painful than the fire. Fire is cooling, fire will give relief from that situation. The gopis are chaste and pure like that. So if they have left their dharma, if they have left their husbands to meet with the son of Nanda Maharaja, this indicates two things: lokika sad-bhandu-vata-natural relationship with Krsna. They are not thinking, “He is God, so this is good that we leave our homes, because the highest dharma is to abandon all worldly dharmas and surrender to Bhagavan.” No, they have a natural relation.
The second thing indicated is the power of the gopis’ anuraga, their deep love. The love of the queens of Dvaraka, the love of Laksmi-devi, the love of any devotees never goes so high that it breaks through all the boundaries of proper behavior. Only the love of gopis can do that. One time Lalita told Radharani, “O Radhe! This love of Krsna is very problematic for You. Why don’t You stop loving Him? It is a big problem.” Radharani said:
tyajantu bandhavah sarve
nindantu guravo janah
tathapi paramanando
govindo mama jivanam (Mukunda Mala Stotram 39)
All my superiors may criticize Me. All the village elders may talk about Me, gossip and spread all kinds of rumors. Let them do it! Tyajantu bandhavah sarvaih. My family members can kick Me out. I don’t care. Tathapi mama sarvasya syama kamala locanam: but lotus-eyed Syamasundara is My all-in-all.” Then Radharani became so ecstatic and said, “Hey Lalita. Go! Take the mrdanga and kartalas and go in the middle of the marketplace and do one big kirtana-(shouting) Radharani loves Krsna. I don’t care. Go on! See if I care.” What is this? This is anuraga, the madness of love in which that which would ordinarily be the most painful thing becomes the cause of happiness. To have a bad reputation in the village, in an Indian village, is worse than death. Yet She says, “I don’t care.” Still, Yogamaya always protects Radharani and assures that Her reputation always remains intact and spotless. Some rumor can float around, but Yogamaya will make an arrangement to remove all doubt from everyone’s minds.
Ya dustyajam sva-janam arya-patham ca hitva. The gopis have given up arya-patha, the path of spiritual life. No, they have given up the path of the Vedas-srutibhir vimrgyam. No, the Vedas are trying to follow the gopis. The Vedas are doing research, “How can we find out how to love Krsna the way the gopis do?” But they don’t know. Gradually, gradually, after many years, they come to the point of taking birth in Braja as the Sruticari gopis, the mantras of the Vedas who have, by their austerities and devotion, by following in the footsteps of Braja ramani, taken birth in Braja from the wombs of gopis.
Bhejur mukunda-padavim srutibhir vimrgyam. Mukunda-padavim-the path which leads to the lotus feet of Mukunda-the Vedas are trying to discover that. What is the path which leads to the lotus feet of Mukunda? Raganuga-bhakti. Only raga-marga, not vaidhi-bhakti. And what is mukunda-padavim? The path that leads to the lotus feet of Krsna? That indicates the trails in the forest, not the public road. This path is through the brambles in the jungle. Why? This indicates that the gopis are so eager to meet with Krsna that they do not go by the road-it is the long way around. They just directly go through the forest because they are so eager to meet with Him. Not for themselves, but to fulfill His desires.
So here Uddhava is praying like this. And when our Gosvamis are remembering this verse, they think, “This is what I want. I want to have that mood. If I could become only like grass in Vrndavana. Then when the gopis go for abhisara (secret meeting with Krsna) in the middle of the night, their eagerness to meet with Him is increasing more and more, every step of the way. If they will touch me at that time, then their mood as abhisarika will come in my heart. When will that day come?”
tvam pracchadena mudira-cchavina pidhaya
manjira-mukta-caranam ca vidhaya devi
kunje vrajendra-tanayena virajamane
naktam kada pramuditam abhisarayisye
When will that day come in the evening time I can decorate Srimati Radhika with so many necklaces and so many paintings, decorating Her hair, Her veni (braid) with flowers? If it a dark moon night, She should have syama-colored cloth and a garland of blue lotus flowers, because everything should be dark. And I will smear Her body with kasturi and dark cosmetics, so everything is dark. Otherwise, if it is a full-moon night, I will dress Radhika in white cloth and give a garland of white malati flowers. And I will smear Her body with camphor to make it white and shiny. Then Lalita Sakhi will come and tell Her, “O Radhika, now Your mother-in-law has fallen fast asleep. We should leave her here, and You should also leave Your fear and Your patience and Your shyness and Your dharma. Let them also sleep here with Your mother-in-law, and come with me.” Radhika, surrounded by Her sakhis in front and behind Her, comes out from the house in Javat and goes through the forest to meet with Krsna. The devotees are always remembering this.
suvarna-malikancita-tri-rekha-kambu-kanthage
tri-sutra-mangali-guna-tri-ratna-dipti-didhiti
salola-nila-kuntala prasuna-guccha-gumphite
kada karisyasiha mam krpa-kataksa-bhajanam?
makhesvari! kriyesvari svadhesvari suresvari
triveda-bharatisvari pramana-sasanesvari
ramesvari! ksamesvari pramoda-kananesvari
vrajesvari vrajadhipe sri radhike namo ’stu te
Radhika is decorated with so many necklaces tied behind with colored silken cords arranged in layers, one after another, like a colored staircase going up Her back. And over that, salola-nila-kuntala prasuna-guccha-gumphite-Her blackish braid, decorated with flowers, is hanging down and swinging (salola) from side to side. What does it mean? It means, “When will I be walking behind Srimati Radhika, right behind Her, and Her braid is swinging like this because Her hips are very heavy, and She is staggering because of being overwhelmed by intense anticipation of meeting with Krsna as She goes for abhisara. Rupa Manjari is following right behind and seeing: salola-nila-kuntala prasuna-guccha-gumphite. When will that moment come? At that time: vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam. How can you find your way through the jungle? There are no sign-posts-Sanket Kunja 5 km. How will you find your way in the jungle? The only way is by knowing gulma-latausadhinam. “Where are you meeting tonight?” “Sanket Kunja.” “That means we have to go east, and when we get to the kadamba tree, we have to go left, and keep going until we get to these particular bushes. The turn right and go down past the asoka trees and the campaka-latas.” In this way, the path to meet with Krsna is beautified by so many sign-posts-gulma-latausadhinam. And they are serving as if welcoming the gopis, “Oh, you are half-way there.” “Oh, you are three-quarters. . .” “Oh, you are almost there now.” Each tree, each creeper is telling them, “Oh, just come. Not far to go now.” But Radhika cannot see. She is so overwhelmed in anticipation to meet with Krsna that She cannot understand where She is going, so the sakhis are leading Her, and they are seeing the trees. When they arrive at the appointed place, Krsna is there waiting. Then what will happen? Radhika glances towards Her sakhi and by Her eyes, indicates what to do now. They have made a plan. So here: kada karisyasiha mam krpa-kataksa-bhajanam? When I am going on abhisara with Radhika, we will arrive there and She will turn and give me Her merciful glance. By that one order, I will be blessed, “Now you render this particular service.”
So here: Bhejur mukunda-padavim srutibhir vimrgyam. If I could become ausadhi, some herb in Vrndavana, then when the gopis are walking, they will step on me and by the touch of their footdust, this bhava may come in my heart that I can have a love like theirs. Asam aho carana renu-the word ‘renu’ is singular. By this Uddhava is indicating that he wants only one dust. One dust cannot be on the feet of two gopis. So here Uddhavaji is glorifying Srimati Radhika. “If I could get the touch of the foot-dust of Radharani, this would be the greatest fortune. If it will happen in some very far distant future birth, I would consider my life sucessful.”
So Uddhava can think like this-this is very good for him. But we will offer another prayer to that one dust:
adadanas trnam dantair idam yace punah punah
srimad-rupa-padambhoja-dhulih syam janma-janmani
“Taking a straw between my teeth, and crying and begging and falling on the ground again and again, I am praying life after life after life, I only want to have the touch of the foot-dust of Sri Rupa Manjari.” Those who are following Rupa Gosvamipada will think: asam aho carana-renu-jusam aham syam. I will be lucky if I could get the touch of the foot-dust of Rupa Manjari when Radhika is going in the middle of the night, leaving Her husband, family, reputation and all fear, to meet with Krsna in Sanket Kunja. Rupa Manjari is following behind Her with so much nistha and one-pointed dedication to Her lotus feet. If I could get the touch of the foot-dust of Rupa Manjari at that time, then my life would be successful.
In this way, all the verses of Srimad-Bhagavatam are full of transcendental nectar. Mahaprabhu has given the instruction: Go to Bhagavatam. Hear Bhagavatam from Bhakta-Bhagavata, and then your chanting will be pure. By hearing Srimad-Bhagavatam, you will become established in sambandha-jnana. Just before Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura left this world, he compiled twenty-four teachings called Upadesavali, and declared, “This is our mission.” This Upadesavli is found in the back of our Giti-Guccha:
16. The foot-dust of Sri Rupa Gosvami, the fulfiller of Sri Caitanyadeva’s inner desires, is our lives’ sole desired object.
Here foot dust means her mood of service to Srimati Radhika.
18. Krsna’s darsana can only be attained through the medium of the ear as one hears Hari-katha from pure Vaisnavas; there is no other way.
Hearing the kirtana of the pure devotee, hari-katha, bhagavat-katha of the pure devotee is the only way the conditioned soul in this world becomes purified and has darsana of Krsna. Then, when he is chanting, his harinama is pure, suddha nama.
Grantha-raja Srimad-Bhagavatam ki jaya!
Saci-nandana Gauranga Mahaprabhu ki jaya!
Sri Rupa Gosvamipada ki jaya!
Gaura premanande!
Yesterday we described how Krsna had left Vrndavana and gone to Mathura, how He had sent Uddhava on a chariot to deliver a message to the Brijbasis, how Uddhava underwent a very radical transformation in Vrndavana. Going to Vrndavana was a very good learning experience for him; he had never seen a place like this before. He thought he knew what bhakti was, but he understood that he had entered another realm entirely. It was only a few kilometers down the road from Mathura, but actually it was a million, million yojanas away from Mathura. What is the difference between Mathura and Vrndavana? It is the difference between two fingers. Two fingers are separated by only one line in the middle-they are side by side. This is the geography. Mathura and Vrndavana are that close, but we do not measure these places by centimeters. We measure them by prema-bhakti. If we will try to understand the geography of Mathura and Vrndavana on the basis of prema-bhakti, then it will be said that Vrndavana is millions and millions and millions of miles away from Mathura. Now Uddhava was realizing this fact when he saw Nanda Baba, Yasoda Maiya, and then the next morning, after taking bath, he saw the gopis of Vrndavana. What condition were they in? Their cloth was old; they had not changed for a long time. And they were covered in dust. Why? Why did they not change their cloth?
Three months earlier, when Krsna was going away from Vrndavana on Akrura’s chariot, the dust of the chariot went into the air as the chariot was pulling away. The gopis were stunned; they could not move. Only tears were gliding down from their eyes and their cloth was wet with their tears. And the dust which came from the wheels of Akrura’s chariot floating in the air came down. Because their bodies and cloth were wet, it stuck to their bodies. And they made a vow, “I will never change this cloth-never-unless Krsna returns.” Why? “This dust is from Krsna’s chariot and the tears of separation from Him mixed together. So I am never letting go of this cloth.” The gopis were in a very pitiable condition as Radharani in Her mahabhava was speaking with the bumblebee. We described this yesterday, and Uddhava’s doubt, “How could Krsna leave these devotees who have so much love? How could He leave them?” And Krsna showed him, “My aprakata-lila is always going on.” Krsna showed Uddhava for a second His aprakata-lila, and again Uddhava saw the prakata-lila. Then Uddhava was thinking, “Oh, the gopis are only being kind. There is really no separation at all. They are just showing me something to bestow mercy upon me.”
Thus, Uddhava began to pray, and among his six prominent prayers, this one is very famous: asam aho carana-renu-jusam aham syam. Asam means these gopis. I want to serve their footdust. How will it be possible? They honor me, seeing me as a brahmana, so what can I do? Vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam: I should take birth in Vrndavana as a bush, as a creeper, as a herb, a blade of grass. Then, if they will step on me, I am touched by their footdust. Then I may realize the meaning of prema. Ya dustyajam sva-janam arya-patham ca hitva: they gave up ‘dustyaja’, that which is very very difficult to give up-their husbands, their family members, their homes, their dharma, arya-patha (the path of Arya dharma), all chance of happiness in this life and the next. They gave up everything-for what? Bhejur mukunda-padavim: to serve the lotus feet of Mukunda. Srutibhir vimrgyam: directly they serve His lotus feet. No-His lotus feet serve them. They are so great. Those lotus feet-srutibhir vimrgyam-are searched after by all the Vedas, but they cannot find the lotus feet of Mukunda; it is very difficult for them. They do austerities for that. But the gopis directly take His lotus feet on their hearts. To relieve their separation from Him? No-to relieve His separation from them. So gopis are so great. This is the general meaning of the verse.
Our acaryas have explained this verse in so many ways-from the point of view of Uddhava, and also from their own point of view. Why? Sarva-bhutesu yah pasyed bhagavad-bhavam atmanah (SB 11.2.45). The Maha-bhagavat sees his own mood everywhere. So Sanatana Gosvamipada, reading this verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam, though it was spoken by Uddhava, saw so many moods of the gopis here. He will see according to his own mood and comment in that way. I know that sometimes the devotees take their mala and sit down to chant, but their mind is vacant-they get no inspiration. Where to begin, what to think of, what to do, how to chant, how to pray to Krsna? In a verse of Bhagavatam like this, everything about bhajana has been explained-everything in one verse. There is no time now to explain deeply; I can only tell one or two things.
The first thing is this. What teaching to we reap from this verse?
’sadhu-sanga’, ’sadhu-sanga’ - sarva-sastre kaya
lava-matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya (Cc. Madhya 22.54)
This teaching is in this verse. How? Uddhava was living very closely with Krsna in Mathura for three months. But what did he get by associating with Him? He got the idea that “I am a good devotee of Krsna.” But when he came to Vrndavana and had the sanga of the gopis, then he was totally transformed. In Mathura he could not imagine that the day would come when he would pray to become a blade of grass in Vrndavana-unspeakable. He had it made-I’m a Mathuravasi, I am an associate of Krsna, I have everything.. But now his heart was totally changed, and he was thinking, “I want to be a blade of grass in Vrndavana.” What was it that changed his mind? What made this radical transformation in Uddhava’s heart? The sanga of the gopis. In other words, where we are today and where we will have to go are miles apart. The way that we feel today and the way that we will have to feel to be a resident of Vrndavana are completely different. How will we change? What will bring about that transformation? Only sadhu sanga. Even Krsna cannot do it. Even if you live with Krsna directly for three months-like Uddhava-you will not change. When will you change? When you have the association of the gopis of Vrndavana. This will bring about transformation. So mercifully, kindly, Srimati Radharani sends Her sakhis into this world to give the association to jivas. By the touch of their sanga, the jivas become transformed, and become mad to attain Braja-prema.
Lava-matra sadhu-sange sarva-siddhi haya: one moment’s association can give all perfection. So Uddhava is praying, “If the gopis will just step on me as they are running to meet with Krsna in the forest, perhaps that moment will be enough so that I can realize their bhava, the way that they feel.” Here the teaching is that only by your sadhana, by your own practice, it is impossible. If there is any austerity, any vow, if there is any sadhana that one can do, Uddhava was qualified to do it. He would have done it, but he realized, “There is nothing I can do without the mercy of the Braja gopis to attain this type of love.” Actually, Uddhava does not want to have kamatmika bhakti. Gopis have a mood to be the lovers of Krsna, but Uddhava is in male form, and he does not want to become like them. But seeing the intensity of their prema, he is praying that by their mercy he will have an intensity of prema like theirs. But any Gaudiya, chanting and remembering this verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam, will not follow that aspect of Uddhava’s prayer. They will accept this, “If I could have the touch of the foot-dust of Braja gopis, then perhaps one day I could have a mood like them.” Actually, you cannot imitate, you cannot imagine and speculate what kind of prema they have, but you can pray to them. By their mercy, some impression will come in the heart. Now, those who are actually doing bhajana are very very rare. We are only in the stage of praying verses like this and chanting. If we will pray very sincerely, they will hear and make some good arrangement in our life for us to come in the direction of their lotus feet.
So here:
asam aho carana-renu-jusam aham syam
vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam
Uddhava is saying, “I want to take birth as the grass in Vrndavana.” Actually, gulma-lata-ausadhi. Gulma means bush, lata is a creeper, and ausadhi means herb, medicinal herbs, very small shrubs growing on the ground. Why? He is thinking, “Vrndavana is such an extraordinary place. Everyone is serving. Radha and Krsna, but I cannot serve. I have no chance, but in Vrndavana, even the bushes are serving.” How? In Vrndavana the bushes have so many fragrant flowers-they are called ‘bhava kusum’, flowers of emotion, and prema-phal, fruits of love. Radhika’s sakhis are going and picking those flowers, as if the bushes are offering their hearts to Radha and Krsna. The sakhis are picking those flowers to make garlands and placing them around the necks of Radha and Krsna. Thus, They are decorated in such a way that Their love for each other is stimulated more and more. So how the bushes of Vrndavana are serving, but what can Uddhava do? If Krsna and Radhika will see Uddhava, they will say, “Oh, no! Uddhava is coming.” What can he do? Nothing. But the bushes-how they are serving! In addition, the bushes all stand together very tightly in rows, creating a room. That is called a kunja, and from outside no one can see in. Otherwise, how can confidential pastimes between Radha and Krsna take place? But the bushes can witness these pastimes, so how fortunate they are!
But you know, bushes are a little high, and cannot so easily get foot-dust. Therefore, Uddhava was thinking, “Gulma, bushes, are OK, but latas are better.” Why? The creepers are feminine, and all the creepers are sakhis of Radhika. Radharani Herself plants the creepers and waters them. In Vrndavana Mahimamrta, Srila Prabodhananda Sarasvati Thakura said that one day Radharani was tending one of Her creepers and said, “Hey Barangi, O you whose limbs are very beautiful! O My dear sakhi Barangi, can you dance?” Just then, the breeze blew and all the leaves of the creeper began to dance. Radharani began to laugh. “Hey Barangi, can you sing?” Inside the manjaris on the creeper, the bumblebees began, “Hmmmmmm.” And Radharani is laughing. “Hey Barangi, can you laugh?” Then the flowers on the creeper blossomed, like laughter. “Hey Barangi, can you cry?” And then makharanda was dripping from those flowers like tears. “Hey Barangi, can you embrace this tree?” And the creeper wound itself around the tree, embracing it. So in Vrndavana, the golden creepers, like gopis, embrace the tamala trees, which are blackish like Krsna. In this way, they inspire the love of Radharani for Krsna when She sees them. The lata is the symbol of very deep and passionate attachment. Why? Because the creeper is embracing Her beloved tightly and she never lets go. So when Radhika sees the creepers of Vrndavana, She becomes so inspired.
Vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam: “if I could be gulma, then I could serve. If I were a lata, I could serve more. But I think to be the sakhi of Radhika is not the best thing.” Latas are like Radhika’s sakhis.
sakhyaya te mama namo’stu namo’stu nityam
dasyaya te mama raso’stu raso’stu satyam
Better not to be a sakhi of Radhika, better to be Her dasi. Radhika will not place Her feet on the bushes and on the creepers. Her feet are on the ground. It may be that at the time of dancing in rasa, the foot-dust will go up into the air and may land on the trees and creepers, but for them to directly receive the touch of Radharani’s feet will be very rare. But creepers are on the ground-directly Radhika will keep Her feet there. So better to be like ausadhi, medicinal herbs-so small and on the ground, and then surely we will get the touch of Radhika’s feet. That means dasi’s mood. Raghunatha dasa Gosvami prayed:
sakhyaya te mama namo’stu namo’stu nityam
dasyaya te mama raso’stu raso’stu satyam
What kind of prayer is this? “I don’t want to be your sakhi. I bow down to them. I only want to be your dasi.”
yo brahma rudra suka narada bhisma mukhyair
alaksito na sahasa purusasya tasya
Uddhava, Brahma, Rudra, Suka, Narada, all the mahajanas and everyone-when they hear about the position of the gopis of Vrndavana like Lalita and Visakha, they are amazed. It is very hard for them even to imagine the good fortune of being like Lalita and Visakha, the sakhis of Radhika. Rupa Manjari, Rati Manjari and others are qualified to be Radhika’s sakhis, they are qualified to be yuthesvari even, group leaders. Yet having the chance to be in that position which would be coveted by every great personality in the universe, they say, “No, thank you.” What does that mean? It means there must be something else which is so special, so wonderful, that they refuse that position of being like Lalita and Visakha. That is to be the dasi of Srimati Radhika-it is so special.
So, the devotee is chanting and remembering: vrndavane kim api gulma-lata. Gulma-OK; no. Lata-OK; no no! Ausadhinam-this is better. To have a service mood. Ya dustyajam sva-janam arya-patham ca hitva: here he has stated that gopis have given up that which is very hard to give up-their family members and their dharma. By this, a very deep secret of bhajana has been revealed. You know that the Four Kumaras never entered into family life, even though their father Brahmaji ordered them to get married. They said, “No. Get married? We’re not even going to grow up. We’re not even going to get dressed.” So we see that the Four Kumaras never became involved in mundane dharma and family life. Sukadeva Gosvami was the same-and he is superior to them. And there are so many others-Narada and so many kings left their kingdoms and dedicated themselves to the path of spiritual advancement. So what is so special that the gopis left their homes and husbands? So many people have done it, so what is so great that they did it? Here the secret is that the gopis don’t know that they are the highest and topmost. The sages have left everything for God, but the gopis have not left everything for God. They have left everything for the son of Nanda Maharaja-this is the meaning. Many many rsis left their homes and families, so why is this the speciality of the gopis that they left their homes and families? Because others left for God, and that is written in scripture. But the gopis left everything for their childhood sweetheart only. Now in the west there is so much adultery and bad behavior, but the gopis are not like that. They are chaste ladies. For a chaste lady to leave her dharma or husband is unheard of-better to die first. In India, if the husband will die prematurely, the wife will enter into his funeral pyre. Why? Because in separation from the husband, she loses her dharma in life; dharma of the wife is to serve her husband. This is more painful than the fire. Fire is cooling, fire will give relief from that situation. The gopis are chaste and pure like that. So if they have left their dharma, if they have left their husbands to meet with the son of Nanda Maharaja, this indicates two things: lokika sad-bhandu-vata-natural relationship with Krsna. They are not thinking, “He is God, so this is good that we leave our homes, because the highest dharma is to abandon all worldly dharmas and surrender to Bhagavan.” No, they have a natural relation.
The second thing indicated is the power of the gopis’ anuraga, their deep love. The love of the queens of Dvaraka, the love of Laksmi-devi, the love of any devotees never goes so high that it breaks through all the boundaries of proper behavior. Only the love of gopis can do that. One time Lalita told Radharani, “O Radhe! This love of Krsna is very problematic for You. Why don’t You stop loving Him? It is a big problem.” Radharani said:
tyajantu bandhavah sarve
nindantu guravo janah
tathapi paramanando
govindo mama jivanam (Mukunda Mala Stotram 39)
All my superiors may criticize Me. All the village elders may talk about Me, gossip and spread all kinds of rumors. Let them do it! Tyajantu bandhavah sarvaih. My family members can kick Me out. I don’t care. Tathapi mama sarvasya syama kamala locanam: but lotus-eyed Syamasundara is My all-in-all.” Then Radharani became so ecstatic and said, “Hey Lalita. Go! Take the mrdanga and kartalas and go in the middle of the marketplace and do one big kirtana-(shouting) Radharani loves Krsna. I don’t care. Go on! See if I care.” What is this? This is anuraga, the madness of love in which that which would ordinarily be the most painful thing becomes the cause of happiness. To have a bad reputation in the village, in an Indian village, is worse than death. Yet She says, “I don’t care.” Still, Yogamaya always protects Radharani and assures that Her reputation always remains intact and spotless. Some rumor can float around, but Yogamaya will make an arrangement to remove all doubt from everyone’s minds.
Ya dustyajam sva-janam arya-patham ca hitva. The gopis have given up arya-patha, the path of spiritual life. No, they have given up the path of the Vedas-srutibhir vimrgyam. No, the Vedas are trying to follow the gopis. The Vedas are doing research, “How can we find out how to love Krsna the way the gopis do?” But they don’t know. Gradually, gradually, after many years, they come to the point of taking birth in Braja as the Sruticari gopis, the mantras of the Vedas who have, by their austerities and devotion, by following in the footsteps of Braja ramani, taken birth in Braja from the wombs of gopis.
Bhejur mukunda-padavim srutibhir vimrgyam. Mukunda-padavim-the path which leads to the lotus feet of Mukunda-the Vedas are trying to discover that. What is the path which leads to the lotus feet of Mukunda? Raganuga-bhakti. Only raga-marga, not vaidhi-bhakti. And what is mukunda-padavim? The path that leads to the lotus feet of Krsna? That indicates the trails in the forest, not the public road. This path is through the brambles in the jungle. Why? This indicates that the gopis are so eager to meet with Krsna that they do not go by the road-it is the long way around. They just directly go through the forest because they are so eager to meet with Him. Not for themselves, but to fulfill His desires.
So here Uddhava is praying like this. And when our Gosvamis are remembering this verse, they think, “This is what I want. I want to have that mood. If I could become only like grass in Vrndavana. Then when the gopis go for abhisara (secret meeting with Krsna) in the middle of the night, their eagerness to meet with Him is increasing more and more, every step of the way. If they will touch me at that time, then their mood as abhisarika will come in my heart. When will that day come?”
tvam pracchadena mudira-cchavina pidhaya
manjira-mukta-caranam ca vidhaya devi
kunje vrajendra-tanayena virajamane
naktam kada pramuditam abhisarayisye
When will that day come in the evening time I can decorate Srimati Radhika with so many necklaces and so many paintings, decorating Her hair, Her veni (braid) with flowers? If it a dark moon night, She should have syama-colored cloth and a garland of blue lotus flowers, because everything should be dark. And I will smear Her body with kasturi and dark cosmetics, so everything is dark. Otherwise, if it is a full-moon night, I will dress Radhika in white cloth and give a garland of white malati flowers. And I will smear Her body with camphor to make it white and shiny. Then Lalita Sakhi will come and tell Her, “O Radhika, now Your mother-in-law has fallen fast asleep. We should leave her here, and You should also leave Your fear and Your patience and Your shyness and Your dharma. Let them also sleep here with Your mother-in-law, and come with me.” Radhika, surrounded by Her sakhis in front and behind Her, comes out from the house in Javat and goes through the forest to meet with Krsna. The devotees are always remembering this.
suvarna-malikancita-tri-rekha-kambu-kanthage
tri-sutra-mangali-guna-tri-ratna-dipti-didhiti
salola-nila-kuntala prasuna-guccha-gumphite
kada karisyasiha mam krpa-kataksa-bhajanam?
makhesvari! kriyesvari svadhesvari suresvari
triveda-bharatisvari pramana-sasanesvari
ramesvari! ksamesvari pramoda-kananesvari
vrajesvari vrajadhipe sri radhike namo ’stu te
Radhika is decorated with so many necklaces tied behind with colored silken cords arranged in layers, one after another, like a colored staircase going up Her back. And over that, salola-nila-kuntala prasuna-guccha-gumphite-Her blackish braid, decorated with flowers, is hanging down and swinging (salola) from side to side. What does it mean? It means, “When will I be walking behind Srimati Radhika, right behind Her, and Her braid is swinging like this because Her hips are very heavy, and She is staggering because of being overwhelmed by intense anticipation of meeting with Krsna as She goes for abhisara. Rupa Manjari is following right behind and seeing: salola-nila-kuntala prasuna-guccha-gumphite. When will that moment come? At that time: vrndavane kim api gulma-latausadhinam. How can you find your way through the jungle? There are no sign-posts-Sanket Kunja 5 km. How will you find your way in the jungle? The only way is by knowing gulma-latausadhinam. “Where are you meeting tonight?” “Sanket Kunja.” “That means we have to go east, and when we get to the kadamba tree, we have to go left, and keep going until we get to these particular bushes. The turn right and go down past the asoka trees and the campaka-latas.” In this way, the path to meet with Krsna is beautified by so many sign-posts-gulma-latausadhinam. And they are serving as if welcoming the gopis, “Oh, you are half-way there.” “Oh, you are three-quarters. . .” “Oh, you are almost there now.” Each tree, each creeper is telling them, “Oh, just come. Not far to go now.” But Radhika cannot see. She is so overwhelmed in anticipation to meet with Krsna that She cannot understand where She is going, so the sakhis are leading Her, and they are seeing the trees. When they arrive at the appointed place, Krsna is there waiting. Then what will happen? Radhika glances towards Her sakhi and by Her eyes, indicates what to do now. They have made a plan. So here: kada karisyasiha mam krpa-kataksa-bhajanam? When I am going on abhisara with Radhika, we will arrive there and She will turn and give me Her merciful glance. By that one order, I will be blessed, “Now you render this particular service.”
So here: Bhejur mukunda-padavim srutibhir vimrgyam. If I could become ausadhi, some herb in Vrndavana, then when the gopis are walking, they will step on me and by the touch of their footdust, this bhava may come in my heart that I can have a love like theirs. Asam aho carana renu-the word ‘renu’ is singular. By this Uddhava is indicating that he wants only one dust. One dust cannot be on the feet of two gopis. So here Uddhavaji is glorifying Srimati Radhika. “If I could get the touch of the foot-dust of Radharani, this would be the greatest fortune. If it will happen in some very far distant future birth, I would consider my life sucessful.”
So Uddhava can think like this-this is very good for him. But we will offer another prayer to that one dust:
adadanas trnam dantair idam yace punah punah
srimad-rupa-padambhoja-dhulih syam janma-janmani
“Taking a straw between my teeth, and crying and begging and falling on the ground again and again, I am praying life after life after life, I only want to have the touch of the foot-dust of Sri Rupa Manjari.” Those who are following Rupa Gosvamipada will think: asam aho carana-renu-jusam aham syam. I will be lucky if I could get the touch of the foot-dust of Rupa Manjari when Radhika is going in the middle of the night, leaving Her husband, family, reputation and all fear, to meet with Krsna in Sanket Kunja. Rupa Manjari is following behind Her with so much nistha and one-pointed dedication to Her lotus feet. If I could get the touch of the foot-dust of Rupa Manjari at that time, then my life would be successful.
In this way, all the verses of Srimad-Bhagavatam are full of transcendental nectar. Mahaprabhu has given the instruction: Go to Bhagavatam. Hear Bhagavatam from Bhakta-Bhagavata, and then your chanting will be pure. By hearing Srimad-Bhagavatam, you will become established in sambandha-jnana. Just before Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura left this world, he compiled twenty-four teachings called Upadesavali, and declared, “This is our mission.” This Upadesavli is found in the back of our Giti-Guccha:
16. The foot-dust of Sri Rupa Gosvami, the fulfiller of Sri Caitanyadeva’s inner desires, is our lives’ sole desired object.
Here foot dust means her mood of service to Srimati Radhika.
18. Krsna’s darsana can only be attained through the medium of the ear as one hears Hari-katha from pure Vaisnavas; there is no other way.
Hearing the kirtana of the pure devotee, hari-katha, bhagavat-katha of the pure devotee is the only way the conditioned soul in this world becomes purified and has darsana of Krsna. Then, when he is chanting, his harinama is pure, suddha nama.
Grantha-raja Srimad-Bhagavatam ki jaya!
Saci-nandana Gauranga Mahaprabhu ki jaya!
Sri Rupa Gosvamipada ki jaya!
Gaura premanande!
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