GADADHARA PANDITA AVIRBHAVA TITHI continued 2

[Patita Pavana das]

Radharani explains, “When I do mana, Krsna will have to break my mana. What will He do? He will have to glorify Me in so many ways. ‘O Radharani, Your eyebrows are just like the bow of Cupid. O Srimati Radhika, it appears by Your very beautiful necklace of white pearls that Kamadeva, the god of love, is doing abhiseka from the very beautiful conch shell of Your neck. He is doing the puja of two Siva lingas. Why? Because Kamadeva made an offense to Mahadeva, and Siva burnt him to ashes for trying to disturb him. So now, Kamadeva, to get free from his offense, is doing abhiseka of Siva lingas with the consch-shell of Your neck, by the milk of Your pearl necklace coming down here and there.” Krsna will have to say so many things, describing the beauty of Radhika’s body, and the more He describes Her, the more He becomes absorbed and the more He tastes Her beauty, and the more His eagerness goes up and up and up. He will have to think of the most ingenious and poetic devices to try to persuade Radharani not to be angry with Him anymore. Radharani is saying, “My sulky moods are only for this. This is for Krsna.” Therefore, Radhika’s mana is false.

In the same way, Gadadhara’s daksina mood is also false. Some people say that Gadadhara Pandita is in right-wing mood because Krsna stole Radharani’s bhava. He took Her left-wing mood and only Her right-wing mood remained. Therefore, Gadadhara Pandita must be in a right-wing mood like Rukmini. This idea is completely wrong. Why? Om purnam adah purnam idam—the Absolute Truth is complete. You take everything from it and it is still there. So even if Krsna takes all the mood of Radharani, all Her mood is still there. She will not be in a right-wing mood. Just as Radharani’s mana is false, Gadadhara Pandita’s right-wing mood is also false. Why? Gadadhara Pandita has all moods. Don’t think that Radharani has only left-wing mood and Gadadhara Pandita has only right-wing mood. Radharani has only one mood. What is that? Anukulyena krsnanu-silanam bhaktir uttama. Whatever is favorable for Krsna to relish more and more rasa, She does that. So to make Krsna relish rasa in Krsna-lila, She acts like She is in a sulky mood with Him. Why? To make His rasa go up. And in Gaura-lila, to make Him taste Radha-bhava, She does not show any left-wing mood, She only shows a right-wing mood. But not left or right-wing mood—whatever it takes to make My beloved taste more and more prema-rasa, I will do that. That is Radharani’s mood. And that is the mood of Gadadhara Pandita.

We should know what the right-wing mood is. Srila Gurudeva has glorified the right-wing mood so much. For example, Laksmana is very submissive to Ramacandra. When Ramacandra gives Him something very difficult to do, like taking Sita to the asrama of Valmiki Rsi, it is very hard for Laksmana to do that, but He supresses His own desire. “I don’t want Sita to leave, but anyway, My brother has ordered this, so I must do it.” And suppressing His own mood, outwardly He tries very hard and He follows the order of His brother, even though it is very difficult for Him. Bharat also—when Rama wanted to go to the forest, then Bharat made a whole plan to bring Him back. He didn’t want to do it, but in the end he had to accept. Rukmini devi is hiding her mood and showing something else, so for this kind of service, to do what you don’t want to do in the service of your beloved is very hard. Those who do it have a very high-class love. Radharani’s love is higher than this. It is not that She is hiding what She really wants to be and showing another mood for the sake of Krsna. No. If you say that, then She is in a right-wing mood. If you say that the glory of Gadadhara Pandita is that Radharani hides Her left-wing mood and shows Her right-wing mood because it is pleasing to Krsna, that would mean that Gadadhara Pandita actually is in a right-wing mood, because that is what people in a right-wing mood do. The actual true conception is to understand this verse:

tejo-vari-mrdah yatha vinimayo yatra tri-sargo ’mrsa

Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura wrote in his commentary on this verse: Radharani’s mood is false. Therefore, this applies to Gadadhara Pandita also. Her right-wing mood and left-wing mood are false, everything is false. Her only mood is anukulyena krsnanu-silanam bhaktir uttama. Whatever it takes to make Krsna taste the ultimate level of rasa, She does that, and She is very happy to do it. This is the internal mood of Gadadhara Pandita, as has been expressed in this first verse of Srimad-Bhagavatam.

dhamna svena sada nirasta-kuhakam satyam param dhimahi

Satyam param dhimahi—I meditate on yatatha svarupa, the real svarupa. The svarupa of Radharani is Gadadhara Pandita, and the svarupa of Gadadhara Pandita is Radharani. Satyam param dhimahi—I meditate on satyam, the yatatha svarupa, the form of Radharani, that is, Gadadhara Pandita, which is parama, the super-excellent form. Those who worship Mahaprabhu in vaidhi-bhakti worship Gaura-Visnu Priya, but the worship of Gaura-Gadadhara (not worship, the seva, because there is no arcana in raganuga bhakti), the seva of Gaura-Gadadhara is the highest. Or, satyam param dhimahi also means I perform seva of that highest form of Gaura-Gadadhara. Where? In Navadvipa-dhama, that is the highest dhama. And nirasta kuhakam—there is no cheating there. In Krsna-lila, Krsna can cheat all the gopis, but He cannot cheat Radharani. Krsna will come, and She will say, “Where have you been?” “Oh, I was coming to meet with You, but when I saw a pomegranate on the tree, it reminded Me of You and I fainted. I was unconscious the whole night, and I know that the night is almost over now, but I just came around from my unconscious, ecstatic mood and I’m here. I came directly to You.” “Really? If You have been lying unconscious all this time, why are Your eyes so red?” Someone’s eyes are red only if they stay awake the whole night. Krsna cannot fool Radharani—She knows.

She has one bhava called cakita—when She is afraid. But actually, She is not afraid; She only pretends to be afraid to get some attention from Krsna. This is one bhava-alankara. Another mood is called mugdha—that’s when Radharani acts like She is really innocent and She does not know that Krsna is trying to pull the wool over Her eyes. But actually She knows everything. This is another bhava-alankara. By all these bhava-alankaras, Radharani attracts Krsna. She cannot be bewildered—Krsna’s cheating cannot work with Her. In the same way, Gadadhara Pandita, being Radharani, says, “I know who You are. You are Krsna Himself. You are acting like You are not Krsna, but really You are Krsna. But anyway, I will help You to forget.” And as Gadadhara Pandita, She is giving instruction to Krsna so that He can come into this illusion that “I am Srimati Radhika.”

The illusion that Krsna is Radharani—this is not the work of Maya, illusion. Nidhuvana nagari mohita manasa vikatita gadgada vasam. Here moha, the same word, is used. Kuhaka and moha are the same thing—bewilderment. Gauracandra is nidhuvana nagari mohita manasa—His mind is bewildered in the mood of nidhuvana nagari Radharani. Don’t think that Krsna’s tasting Radharani’s mood is illusion. This means He is bewildered by prema.

So, what is the necessity of Radharani becoming Gadadhara Pandita? Yes, there is a great necessity. Srila Narottama dasa Thakura has written a kirtana—he says there:

nari na karita vidhi, tuya heno guna nidhi
laiya phiritama dese dese

Once Radharani was standing on Her doorstep and Krsna was going past with all the cowherd boys on their way to graze in the forest. Radharani knew, “I cannot come out from the house, but I want to go with Him,” and She began to cry. She’s saying: Nari na karita vidhi, tuya heno guna nidhi. “Alas! It is My fate, it is My destiny. Why did I take birth as a woman? If I were a boy, then I would not have to stay behind. I would go with You everywhere, singing Your glories.” This idea came in the heart of Radharani. “Oh, why did I have to be a woman?” So, in Her next incarnation, Radharani became a boy, Gadadhara Pandita, and went everywhere with Gauracandra, singing Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare / Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.

There is another point that is very very important. Krsna developed a desire to understand the love of Radharani, but He could not. If you want to learn anything, you will need a guru. So, who can be Krsna’s guru in this regard? Only Radharani. But another problem came. What is that? Prema mahima—the glory of prema is that it is never expressed. Those who have love will never express their love to their beloved. They will not explain—only it will shine from them in the form of their bodily effulgence. They will express their love by the light in their eyes and the way that they are serving, but not in words. So how will Krsna know? Tat viddhi pranipatena pariprasnena sevaya—you have to approach a guru and ask questions and hear. Sad dharma prccha siksa sadhu marganugaman. This is the process of bhakti—you have to pose questions and receive instructions. So how will Radharani tell Him all these things? She cannot express it because that is the nature of love.

sphurad-aghabhid-anargha-prema-manikya-petim-manikya
dhrta-madhura-vinodam radhikam arcayami

Rupa Gosvami says that Radharani is like a jewelry box in which there are many valuable jewels hidden, secret. In the same way, Radharani keeps the jewels of Her prema in the jewelry box of Her heart. So who can teach Krsna? Even Radharani cannot teach Him because She cannot express these things. Love cannot be expressed. Krsna tried many methods to understand Radharani’s love. He left Vrndavana and went to Mathura, and then He came back in the form of a bumblebee to see what Radharani was doing. And in the form of a bumblebee, He saw Radharani’s mohana-bhava. Then a greed came. He saw it but still He could not understand what it was like—how does She feel? What to speak of madana-bhava! Krsna saw these things. He tried to taste this by coming in the form of a bumblebee. One day He came as a demigoddess also, criticizing Krsna to make Radharani explain Her love for Him. He tried so many ploys, but everything failed. Why? Because Radharani cannot directly express Her feelings.

Still, Radharani fulfills all of Krsna’s desires. There are two aspects—sakti and saktimana. Saktimana has desire, and sakti does everything to fulfill that desire. Therefore, Srimati Radhika gave Krsna Her bhava and kanti, and Krsna became Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Then Radharani appeared as Gadadhara Pandita, and now on the pretext of giving Bhagavatam class, Radharani can tell Him everything. Radharani is not saying, “I feel like this about You.” Mahaprabhu is saying, “I am a sannyasi and I have left My home. I want to learn about bhakti.” And now, Radharani, as Gadadhara Pandita, who has also taken sannyasa, says, “What should we do today? OK, let’s have a Bhagavatam class.” Gadadhara Pandita takes out the Bhagavatam and reads: Barhapidam nata-vara-vapu karnayoh karnikaram. When Krsna is entering the forest and playing on His flute, Radharani is there, looking at Him. By the power of Her glance, Krsna’s hands begin to tremble and perspire. His flute falls from His hand, but He does not even notice—He is still blowing, but no sound is coming. And He begins to faint. Madhumangala grabs Him and says, “Hey, pull Yourself together. Your parents are watching.”

Krsna knows what it feels like at that time to be Krsna, but He does not know what Radharani feels like when She looks at Him and He drops His flute. He does not know, but Sukadeva Gosvami has recorded this in Srimad-Bhagavatam, and now Gadadhara Pandita and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu are sitting down. Radharani could not tell Krsna the way that She felt, but now, what is She doing? She is giving a lecture on this verse, and explaining the meaning and the feelings in this verse. Thus, in a covered way, in a way that no one can understand, now in Gaura-lila She is telling Him the love which She could not express in Krsna-lila. Now Krsna can make His inquiries, receive siksa and then go in the Gambhira at night and practice it. This is the necessity of the appearance of Gadadhara Pandita. This is why Krsna-lila is not complete without Gaura-lila. Gaura-lila is parasista, the appendix of Krsna-lila. It is still Krsna-lila, but it is the appendix in which Radharani fulfills those desires which She was unable to fulfill in Krsna-lila.

I feel inadequate because I was not able to touch the glories of the footdust of Gadadhara Pandita. I am praying to Gurudeva and the Vaisnavas that they will bestow their mercy upon me one day, and reveal to me their internal moods and realizations so that I may know something about Gadadhara Pandita. Thus, I will be able to purify my tongue by speaking His glories. We are very fortunate to remember Gadadhara Pandita on this day, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s associate, our Svamini’s abhinna svarupa. Only by hearing the qualities and life of Gadadhara Pandita, some idea, some impression, of the meaning of the word prema may come in our heart.

Gadai-Gaura premanande! Hari bol!

[Malati dasi Carano]

Haribol! Jaya Jaya Sri Radhe! Syama!